Shaving, George’s Fault, and Short Thoughts
by Barry Bauer
I was getting ready to take Betty to the doctor which meant I had to clean up a little. I was shaving in my usual Devil may care manner and when I finished the last few passes with my razor I nicked my nose.
I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding by using pressure so I took Betty to her appointment with a wad of toilet paper on my nose.
While I was waiting out in the truck for Betty I had enough time to develop three blood clots but that never happened. It kept bleeding. I was hoping the people coming to and going from the office wouldn’t notice.
I expected some kid to say, Hey Mom; look at that weird looking man in that truck over there!
I spent the rest of the day and night with a piece of toilet paper on the side of my nose. I’m the kind of guy that if I wore eye glasses they’d be a pair of black frame glasses and held together with duct tape on the bridge.
The next day I soaked the toilet paper with a wet wash cloth to get it off and the bleeding had stopped. Do you suppose those scientists who say a person’s nose and ears get bigger as they grow older are right?
While buying a septic stick at Rite-Aid the pharmacist, Carol, told me Vaseline also works good on nose bleeds.
That means if you’re older like me and you realize your nose and ears are getting bigger, don’t wave your razor around so much and keep some Vaseline on hand.
* * *
I risk upsetting a Facebook friend because I’m repeating myself. What the hell is wrong with the state of Florida?
First it was the Elian Gonzalez custody case followed by the hanging chads during the 2000 presidential election. Now it’s the Martin/Zimmerman case followed by the manager of the Florida Marlins, Ozzie Guillen suspended for five games by his own team for saying he admires Fidel Castro of Cuba.
What, no freedom of speech? Guess not.
* * *
When will Oblama take ownership of his administration? They keep blaming Bush for everything that goes wrong three plus years after he left office. The latest blame placed on Bush was because the GSA held a $800,000 plus party with our money under Oblama’s watch and they were caught.
Oblama is too immature to accept responsibility for the many mistakes his administration’s made and don’t expect that to change. He falls short of being a man.
Remember; follow the Oblama rule, if you see something wrong. Even if it’s in your house, it’s George’s fault.
* * *
Short thoughts:
The definition of fatal attraction: A mouse trap that is armed, loaded with cheese, and a hungry mouse.
Why is it okay for the New Black Panthers to stand outside a voting place with batons in hand in a threatening manner and then put a bounty on George Zimmerman of Florida? Isn’t there something wrong here?
Apparently not.
Why is Cuba such a Boogeyman to the United States? I don’t understand it.
Until the next time . . .